The State Fair of Texas

It is that time of year. The weather starts to cool down to 95, and football season is in full swing. Yes it is that time of year. Time for the State Fair of Texas. Alexis and I took our annual trip to the fair last night. Now, I don't know who, if anyone reads my little rants, but this is for those of you who have not had the honor of experiencing the State Fair.

The fair takes place annually at the appropriately named Fair Park. This is the home of the Cotton Bowl and the giant Texas Star Farris wheel (which I won't ride). The "hood" surrounding the fairgrounds could rival any inner-city, poverty stricken, gang infested, graffiti covered ghetto in the country. It seems pretty rough and there is nothing nice around the fairgrounds. It is the type of area that could have really benefited from the economic stimulation brought on by building the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium in the area, but Dallas' not-so-much-of-a-thinker mayor decided the new stadium would be a better fit in Arlington, leaving no economic benefit to the city that is associated with America's Team. Anyway, the area around the fair is ghetto.

But once inside the nurturing biosphere of the State Fair, you quickly forget what waits for you as you return to your car at the end of your fair experience (if your car has not been stolen). The State Fair of Texas is a treat for all of the senses. The people, while not purposely dressed as clowns or other comical characters, often look ridiculous. Jorts (jean shorts for guys) to one's ankles, big baggy shirts that could double as a dress, dirty clothes, clothes that are way too tight, sideways hats, gold teeth, and the nappy, ungroomed goatees. It truly is a meeting ground of the substandard people of the Texan society. The pathways through the fair are littered with flashing lights, dirty carnys, police and rides that look as entertaining as they do unsafe. In fact we saw a carny (a worker at the fair, usually white trash) being escorted out of the park by four police, he was probably drunk or high.

While walking through the fair one can't help but notice the gourmet items those crazy carnys have cookin'. Things like alligator sausage, fried coke, fried cookie dough, fried latte, fried guacamole, fried fries, fried cosmopolitans, fried queso, (are you noticing a trend?), fried peanut butter jelly and banana sandwiches, and of course the corny dogs. As bad as most of that sounds, there are a few items that are eatable, but of course will require a trip to the fair's angioplasty booth. Alexis and I love the corny dogs (a true fair staple), funnel cakes, and the fried macaroni and cheese. None of which can be found at a salad bar. After our dinner, we felt like he had gained about four pounds and we could feel the grease swishing around in our belly.

We did see some good things at the fair. We checked out the animal exhibits including the grand champion steer. Which was sold for $94,000, you will be able to see him soon in your grocers meat department. We went through the petting zoo, which now that I look back on that, may have been the grossest thing I have ever done. First of all, they are petting zoo animals, they don't exactly live in the cleanest conditions, unless you consider saw dust, hay and poo clean. Then throw in the nasty people mentioned earlier touching the gross animals...you got yourself a petting zoo!!

Our evening wrapped up with a pig race, but most of the people in the stands could have used the exercise more than the pigs as they watched the race with a bag of popcorn in one hand and a turkey leg in the other. We also toured the car show, which I can't twist that and make it sound bad. Unless...you consider that the same people who were at the petting zoo were probably a lot of the same people touching the cars, sitting in them, and imagining themselves behind the wheel of the latest model, just like Alexis and I did. Gross.

The State Fair of Texas is truly a great experience. The art exhibits are nicely put together, the entertainment is top rate (there are concerts almost every night and parades too), and the atmosphere can't be beat.

State Fair of Texas; I will see you next year!